i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Panties = found
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
