So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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