chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
