In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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