I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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