guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
