i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
