Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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