I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
