Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
