Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
