Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
