I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
