I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
