but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
