Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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