Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
