If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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