I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
