pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
