Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
