I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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