I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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