Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
