If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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