We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
