i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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