My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
even my farts smell like vagina
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
