I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
