I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
