i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
