she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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