real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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