Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
