Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
