Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
