D3 body, D1 cock
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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