I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
