I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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