Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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