bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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