He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We left the knife in your bed.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
