You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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