Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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