he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
