dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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