Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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