it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
