To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
