I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
